Gabrielle d'Estrees, 1594

Friday, November 5, 2010

Make Love Not Porn


For years I’ve encouraged discussions on pornography and its mark on our culture. And while I believe porn has an important place in our society, I also worry that it’s not in the right place. Or rather, we (the viewers) don’t know its rightful place.
I am a firm believer that porn is partially responsible for this current “over-sexualized and over-stimulated” reality TV generation we’re living in – And not necessarily MTV or rap videos (which are usually blamed).  Now before everyone starts accusing me of being a porn-hating witch, allow me to confess that actually I watch porn regularly. In no way am I trying to say that porn is bad and needs to be banned or regulated. But as a 25 year old, when I watch porn I can distinguish what is fantasy and what isn’t. For example, when a woman wants nothing more than to be deep throated, I am intelligent and experienced enough to realize that this is one particular fetish. Now take that same visual reference and apply it to an 11-year-old boy or girl (the average age of a child when they see porn for the first time.) Besides living in an overly stimulated generation, we are also the first generation to have complete access to the Internet – and 37% of the Internet today is porn. So it should be no surprise that kids have access to this stuff. Do they think that’s what sex is supposed to be like? And will they grow up thinking that sex should be that way? It is certainly an interesting question.
I have recently come across a woman who has not only brought attention to this topic, but is also starting a movement to try and change it. Her name is Cindy Gallop - a smut-mouthed entrepreneur in her 50’s.  She talks freely about how she enjoys dating younger men (in their 20’s) but is sick of them cumming on her face. Yes, you heard correctly, cumming on her face.  She attributes this fairly new male behavior to modern day hardcore pornography. Her point is that these lads were brought up on seeing men cum on women’s faces - and women loving it. So it’s only natural that they practice it in their own bedrooms. Well she’s tired and won’t take it anymore.
Her method for this change is to talk more with kids about real sex and sexuality. Weather we like it or not, most kids learn basic sexuality in middle school sex-ed: A place where diagrams looking nothing like the actual parts of the body and strange words like “Vaginal Opening” are used. While I commend our school systems for even teaching sex education, I still think it’s not enough. Parents have to let go of the taboo of feeling uncomfortable about talking to their kids about sex. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen… REAL SEX. Better for them to learn it from their parents (or a responsible adult) rather than a porn director.  I leave you with a clip of Cindy Gallop talking about her website and movement "Make Love Not Porn".

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