Gabrielle d'Estrees, 1594

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Sexual Moments in Star Wars


While I'm deeply saddened by the death of actor Leslie Nielsen, Hollywood lost another legend this past weekend: Director Irvin Kershner. During his career, Kershner directed a Robocop movie as well as a James Bond movie. But there's no doubt he was best known for directing the The Empire Strikes Back - arguably the best film in the entire Star Wars saga.

I wanted to start this week off by honoring Kershner (and the Star Wars fans in mourning) with a list of the "Most Sexual Star Wars Moments" But I'm no Star Wars expert. So I've brought a guest writer to help me out (my boyfriend, Ben Famiglietti). With his vast knowledge of geekdom, he was actually able to pull together a list of the five most sexual moments in the Star Wars movies - which actually aren't all that sexual. Never the less, here's the list!


5:  No Bras in Space


   I know Princess Leia isn't the hottest heroin to ever hit the big screen. But having grown up on the original Star Wars trilogy, she holds a special place in my heart. I think she looks pretty damn cute in that first scene of A New Hope... not to mention the fact that she's isn't wearing a bra. George Lucas actually told Carrie Fisher not to wear a bra because he explained "there's no underwear in space." Something about your body expanding when you're weightless and the bra strangling you... Sounds like a lousy excuse if you ask me.


          4: Padme in Attack of the Clones
         Attack of the Clones is pretty difficult for me to sit through. But I'll admit it gets a little better toward the end - partially because thats when the action really begins and partially because Padme throws on that super sexy, skin-tight white outfit. While hot Natalie Portman scenes are a dime a dozen these days, I don't think there was anything better at the time. And while I'm not really a fan of the new trilogy, it would be shame to not include Natalie Portman somewhere on this list.






       3: The Incestuous Kiss

I don't care who you are; the Luke - Leia kiss doesn't sit well with anyone. It wasn't a big deal "for luck" in A New Hope. But the full, open mouth kiss in the beginning of Empire is just weird. I know people argue that she was just trying to make Han jealous... but it still doesn't change the fact that she kissed her brother. And after Luke reveals the truth to her in Return of Jedi, she tells him that "somehow she always knew." If that's true, than that kiss must have felt as awkward for her as it did for the rest of us. 






        2. Oola's Forgotten Nipple Slip

There is no nudity in the Star Wars movies. But there used to be. In Return of the Jedi, Jaba's slave dancer Oola actually had a brief moment of accidental nudity. While pleading with Jabba not to drop her into the Rancor pit, actress Femi Taylor's boob fell out - and that take somehow made it into the final cut of the movie. Of course, the effects geniuses over at ILM had no problem digitally removing the nipple for the Special Edition. I'd argue its the third worst thing they removed from the saga (behind the Original Anakin Skywalker and Han shooting first, of course)








        1. The Infamous Golden Bikini

Anyone who has seen the Star Wars movies knows that the sexual peak of the series was undoubtedly Princess Leia's slave outfit in Return of the Jedi. This outfit has since become a staple in the geek world - and will be forever. It seems every year, no matter what, there's at least one sexy slave bikini Leia at every Comic Con across the country. And while Leia may not be sexiest heroin ever, she definitely introduced us to one of the sexiest sci-fi outfits of all time. Just look at Oliva Munn and tell me I'm wrong!






Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Pilgrim Sex


I know its hump day... but tomorrow is Thanksgiving so I thought what better way to start the holiday than an entry on Good Ol' Fashioned Pilgrim Sex!  I know that some think Pilgrims didn't have sex for pleasure - and in some ways they're right.  Think about it... their clothing was drab and their houses were drab, so it isn't too far fetched to think that their sex-lives were boring.  Sermons have shown us what the "optimistic" pilgrims thought thought about sex. But sex aside, there was already this idea that all of God's creatures were damned right from the womb. Here's a pleasant little excerpt from a sermon by a guy named Thomas Shepard. I think it paints a pretty clear picture:

"Thy mind is a nest of all the foul opinions, heresies, that ever were vented by any man ; thy heart is a foul sink of all atheism, sodomy, blasphemy, murder, whoredom, adul-tery, witchcraft, buggery ; so that if thou hast any good thing in thee, it is but as a drop of rose-water in a bowl of poison.”

With such strict words, you'd think these pilgrims would be trying to embrace their "drop of rose water" and avoid things like whoredom, adultry and sodomy, right? Well... you're wrong. All of these and more were happening when the pilgrims were around.  Figures... I mean, what else was there to do back then?  There are actually court records documenting proof of these crazy pilgrim sex acts.  A healthy dose of lesbians, adulterers and incestuous lovers were all put on trial. There was even some bestiality.

Men who weren't hooking up with their buddies, their cousins, their neighbor's wives or their farm animals would generally try to court a woman when she was 14. Often, these guys would come into their lady's place of residence and spend lots of time with her and her family.  Here's the kicker: it was usually protocol for him to spend the night.  Where you may ask? Often a pilgrim's family would all share one big bed. And to think... we gave Michael Jackson such a hard time for this.  So he would actually just hop into bed with the family - usually next to his "wife to be." But they couldn't have the couple sexing in the family bed - so they'd put up a piece of wood called a bundling board in between the two. The idea was to create intimacy without intercourse.  Sounds like temptation island if you ask me...  More court records prove that this method didn't always work as many young lovers still found a way to get it on in the family bed - even with a board between them.  But lets face it; there's no stopping a horny man next to his virgin future wife.  

Bundling Board

There were also thought to be a few "peeping toms" around town. These sneaky guys took advantage of the low windows in most of the homes at the time. Figures with no internet, people had find some way to get fresh masturbation material. And its just common sense to think that many of these couples weren't just having sex to make babies. Some were having crazy pleasure-driven sex - the kind you'd want to watch! 

I know not all pilgrims were sex freaks. But a few of them certainly were. What I find interesting is that they tried so desperately to portray this image of being wholesome. Its even been recorded that they looked down on the sex acts of Native Americans, who embraced sex as a natural life force. And the truth is, they had it right. To deny the pleasure of sex is to deny a natural life force. Most of us can't do that. And why should we? The funny thing is, if they didn't look down on these crazy sex acts, they probably would have better portrayed their wholesome image. Thanks to them putting every sex freak on trial, we have historic court records of nearly every kinky pilgrim there was.



  

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Naughty Housewares

With the holiday season right around the corner, a bunch of you are probobly already looking for gifts. Here are some sexy little presents I found that also have practical uses! Perfect stocking stuffers for that special someone that stuffs your stocking!

Love Love Love these glasses!  I actually happen to own the matching coasters.  Best part- they also have a Male Stripper counterpart.


The Japanese have done it again!  These are actually a set of foam legs that you sleep on!  Head and Torso sold separately.  


Add a penis to a lamp and you've got a new spin on the phrase "turning it on." And if you're not comfortable with touching a lamp's penis, you can always go for the infamous leg lamp.





And who doesn't love a good tea bag?


A sexy mouse is a clever idea considering your mouse gets most of its use clicking on porn. The finger motions of clicking and scrolling aren't bad practice either.



This product is called the "Karma Sheetra" for those of us who need a little assistance in the bedroom.  It's kind of like twister, but straight to the point.


This is an actually fishbowl with a dildo inside of it! While the concept is cool, I don't think the owner or fish are going to get any pleasure out of it...



While this boob vase is intended to hold flowers, it could also double as a milk jug.


Look out for more gift ideas in the coming weeks!




Friday, November 19, 2010

I See an Armpit...What Do You See?

Mayumi Lake is a Chicago based artist who often explores ideas of sexuality and desire though her artwork. This past weekend I saw some of her photos from her exhibit Poo-Chi at NYC's Museum of Sex. Poo-Chi takes seemingly innocent parts of the adult body and transforms them into something... provocative looking. And I have to admit: initially I was fooled. I find it pretty amazing how our minds can transform parts of our bodies into something else entirely with an awkward gesture or the twist of a camera angle. So as graphic as some of these photos may seem, they actually aren't graphic at all. Its just your own dirty minds! 







Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Situation and Bristol Palin on "Safe Sex"



This week, dancing with the Stars Contestants Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino of MTV's Jersey Shore and Bristol Palin (daughter of Sarah Palin) teamed up in a Safe Sex PSA (VIDEO BELOW) for the Candie's Foundation. Hmmm... Talk about irony. But irony aside, this whole video really rubbed me the wrong way. Its not just the bad jokes, or the bad acting, or that the word "situation" is used so many times, it looses all meaning. It’s that I almost feel like this PSA mocking safe sex. Trust me, I'm all for humorous PSAs. But this one just missed the mark.

Lets start with Bristol. As much as don't agree with Sarah Palin, I honestly have to give her daughter credit on becoming a safe sex advocate. She swallowed her pride, admitted her mistake and now speaks from a place of experience. But I have a problem with Bristol being an advocate for abstinence alone.  Columbia University conducted a study a few years back and they found that out of 12,000 teens that made the abstinence pledge, 88 percent of them ended up engaging in pre-marital sex.  Lets face the facts... abstinence might be the safest option, but its not a "safe sex" option because its simply "not sex". For Bristol herself to take a vow of abstinence is a fine personal decision. But we all know she took that vow after already having sex - and unprotected sex at that. So now, because she's suddenly reformed, she thinks teens are going to listen to her?  C'mon... 

Add The Situation to the mix and you've got one hot-mess of a campaign.  I've seen every episode of the two seasons of Jersey Shore (don't judge me... it's a guilty pleasure) and I know that if I held a Safe Sex Campaign, The Situation is the last person I'd hire as a spokesperson.  He comes off as a sexist, chauvinistic man-whore  that sleeps with multiple women every night.  I seriously doubt he wraps it up every time he bangs a girl in the jacuzzi. And I'm even more doubtful he's disease free. 

But as much as I want to bash these two shmucks, the blame should really fall on the Candie's Foundation.  I did some research and I know their heart is in the right place - Anyone who advocates safe sex rather than ignore the topic completely deserves a round of applause in my book.  But the foundation only focuses on preventing teen pregnancy (and not necessarily STDs). The fact that The Situation even mentions condoms in this PSA is a whole new direction for The Candies Foundation. So perhaps the core of the problem here is that I don't agree with the "one way" direction the foundation takes. But having these two celebrities who represent the opposite of what their preaching certainly doesn't help their case.



Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Strip-Club Confidential



Strip clubs are strange places. I remember going out to a strip club with my guy friends and they became so serious as soon as they stepped inside. In fact, I think every single person I've ever been to a strip club with acts a little different once they get there. Nerves, excitement, frustration: Strip Clubs  seem to bring out slightly different sides of us all. Its no wonder three of my favorite stories involve these wacky places.

The process prior to a strip club lap dance can be a strange one. If you ask me, the fewer formalities, the less awkward it is. There is a delicate balance to the flirting stripper. If she's too reserved, her target may loose interest. But if she's too talkative she could also turn off a potential client. Case in point with one nice guy who went out to a strip club with some friends.

After watching a few of the girls on stage, his buddies ran off with girls of their choosing, leaving him alone at the bar - a prime target for a stripper in need of an extra $20. It wasn't long before a twenty-something year old approached him, put her hand on his thigh and started up a conversation. Things started out light. She asked him what he was drinking, what he did for a living and a few other casual things. And in being a polite guy (as well as a bit of a strip club novice) he asked her some questions too. But what started as casual strip club flirtation soon turned into a full on conversation.

It only took a few questions for this woman to open up her entire autobiography.  She married young to a husband she didn't know was abusive... but she was used to it because she had an abusive father... then she had a baby... then her husband left her... then she dropped out of school and ran away from home... it was a standard (but never the less depressing) sob story. And after telling it, she took a deep breath and asked "So, want a dance?" Knowing that she had a son at home and could barely afford the monthly rent, he agreed. So he paid her, they went into a back room and as the next song began, so did chapter two of her life story. As she stripped down and proceeded to grind on him, she told him more of her life's troubles and woes. At one point, she even began complaining about the strip club and how certain moves were beginning to take a physical toll on her as she was getting older... Like a certain booty drop, which she demonstrated for him while complaining about it. After the dance, she asked him if he wanted another. But at this point, he felt so bad that he gave her the $20 and told her to just rest for a few minutes.

Another friend had never been to a strip club and his friends thought it was about time he went. He was about to turn nineteen and hadn't even gone out for his eighteenth birthday. Needless to say, his buddies were pushing him to make up for it that year. And what better place to do it than at a strip club? The problem however was his girlfriend - who specifically said she didn't want him anywhere near a strip club as she considered it partially cheating. Of course, this didn't stop his friends from planning the party… it just turned the whole thing into a covert operation. And despite some reluctance from him, they convinced their friend to lie to his girlfriend and drive out to the strip club the night of his birthday. Of course, he was nervous and had an uneasy feeling in his stomach. But the sleaze of the strip club loosened him up a bit as one of his friends gave him $20 and told him to get himself a private dance. Pulling out his wallet, he suddenly fumbled it and as it hit the floor, it unfolded and opened up to a picture of his girlfriend glaring. She seemed to be looking right at him Staring. Judging. Angry. His eyes widened and he shouted out loud "I can't do this!" and he picked up his wallet and ran out of the club. Later that night, he came clean to his girlfriend about the whole story and she forgave him, even though she was a little pissed. But she figured a man trained that well is worth a second chance.

One friend of mine made the mistake of taking his new girlfriend to his favorite strip club. He probably thought it would be hot to see his new chick interact with some of the strippers… maybe even watch her get a private dance.  I dunno what it is with you boys and your lesbian fantasies... Anyways, he walked in with a stack of cash and decided to let his girl feel out the situation.  He handed her a wad of ones and grabbed two seats by the main stage.  Then he sat back and watched the next stripper come on.  After a few songs, things seemed to be going well. At least it didn't seem like his girlfriend was bothered by the situation.  And after throwing a few dollars on stage she decided to grab a drink from the bar. But as soon as she left, another stripper came on. And little did she know, this chick was her guy's favorite. So naturally, he reached in his pocket and pulled out the big bucks - a $5 dollar bill. The stripper gave him an extra big smile. Now I don't know if it was the money or the smile that set her off, but his girlfriend suddenly freaked. She rushed over to the stage, grabbed the $5 and shoved it in her purse.  And then holy hell broke loose.  The stripper demanded that she give her her money back and a shouting match started.  And her guy suddenly found himself caught in the middle of a fight between his new girl and his favorite stripper.  Trying to cool the situation, he apologized, reached in his pocket and gave the stripper ANOTHER $5 dollar bill. Seeing that he had chosen his favorite stripper over her, his girl b-lined it to the door and ran outside.  My friend decided it was probably best if he let her cool down… so he finished his drink.  About three minutes later, the bouncer approached him and informed him that his girlfriend had taken off down the highway on foot.   My friend, the stripper and the bouncer rushed outside and looked down the long and lonely highway. He looked at the stripper then looked out at the highway again and then back at the stripper… and decided he'd go after her when he was out of singles. 


And for last week's stories, click here

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Who Needs a Wing Man?


Single men of Boston searching bars and clubs for the woman of their dreams need look no further. With the launch of a new service, “Hire a Boston Wing Woman” a sexy young woman is ready and available to… help you find another sexy young woman to sleep with!

That's right… Hire a Boston Wing Woman provides men with a female buddy for the evening. Susan Baxter, who has studied Psychology in France and the US, founded the service based on the age-old idea that a female friend is exceptionally helpful when it comes to flirting with strangers.  Baxter noticed that women initially associated better with the same sex rather than the opposite. And I have to admit, she makes a great point. I know when I go out with my girlfriends, there is an immediate distrust when a guy first approaches us.  I know it sucks for all the nice guys out there… but the scummy one's have ruined it for everyone.

So next time you're ready for a night on the town in Boston, tell your bros to stay home - they'll probably wind up embarrassing you anyway. For only $65/hour (with a minim of 2 hours) you can hire yourself a Boston Wing Woman… and then its an additional $30/half hour after that… Okay, so maybe its a little pricy. But in their  defense, its hard work acting as your friend for the night!

Of course, the alternative would be to just ask one of your real female friends to be your wing-woman for the night. I've offered this service to my guy friends for years - and the only thing they have to pay is my tab (which is a lot less than 65/hr).  So, any takers..?

…No? Then the website is here.




Monday, November 15, 2010

French AIDS PSA

If this won't make you wear a condom, I dunno what will....

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Lysteda Commercial




Every time I turn on the TV, I see that commercial for the medication “Lysteda”.  For those of you that aren’t familiar with the medication, its modern medicine’s answer to the “heavy monthly bleeding” epidemic that plagues so many women today (catch that sarcasm?)  But its not so much the medication that interests me as the commercial itself.  First of all, I want to give a “hats off” to the brilliant advertisers who work in the business of period commercials (that’s not sarcasm.) These people are truly some of the brightest minds of our generation. Think about it… They’ve been given the difficult task of coming up TV friendly ways to show…bum bum bum… period blood!  And I have to admit, I’ve seen some great metaphors for menstrual bleeding over the years: a wrapped gift, a woman with flaming red hair… even a blood red punctuation mark.  But I have to give this Lysteda commercial credit for something a little different.

The commercial features a woman walking down the street and some red rose petals begin to rain on her.  As she keeps walking, the rose petals seem to start falling harder on her. Call me immature, but I crack up every time I see this commercial.  Ladies, imagine if every time we had a heavy cycle we would be burdened with a trail of blood red flowers following us…Sounds like a horror movie. 

Being a Film and Television Grad, my mind sometimes comes up with alternative ways to do commercials like these. I know if I had the chance to direct one, I would pull some inspiration from The Shining… you know… blood rushing out of some elevator doors and knocking some poor woman to the ground. Now that says “heavy flow!” better than some falling rose petals.




Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Tales of Female Masturbation


A few weeks back, I wrote an entry on "Male Masturbation". While the men seemed to be extremely open (at least with me,) Women on the other hand, are mostly introverted when it comes to masturbation conversation. But I somehow got these three girls to gab about some of their more intimate moments.

I’ve discovered that females are quite savvy when it comes to the ways of masturbation. Guys, for example will settle for doing it just about anywhere (and even anytime). Girls are a bit more careful and delicate. They may set a mood for themselves… maybe involve some candles or music… perhaps some erotica. A lot of work can go into it. One girl went through great lengths to mimic the intense feeling she got when riding a guy. She went out and purchased a life sized penis-shaped dildo named Wally. Wally is actually a top-selling sex toy on the Athena's website because unlike other dildos, he can stick to most surfaces. She waited in anticipation for about a week and a half before he finally arrived. Then she made a mad dash for the laundry room. Grabbing a pile of towels she had been meaning to wash, she set the dial for “Bulky Load,” then unwrapped Wally and stuck him right on top. The bouncing washer seemed to have the strength of a young man’s hips… but with nearly infinite stamina. This was the perfect spot for her new dildo. And so she proceeded to try out her favorite sex positions. For anyone wondering, reverse cowgirl actually worked best and kept her pleasured for nearly an hour. To this day, she claims that her washing machine is one of the best lovers she’s had.

Another girlfriend preferred the bathroom instead of the laundry room.  At least three times a week she would take a half hour to “distress” herself.  It was only a matter of time before her sessions became like rituals. She would find almost every candle in the house, decorate her bathroom like a gothic church and fill up the tub with hot water. A couple of dashes of Mr. Bubbles added the perfect touch.  Then she would turn on her Jacuzzi tub and massage her lady parts.  Week after week, her perfect sanctuary always got her off and never let her down… until her Jacuzzi decided it couldn’t take anymore.  It seemed that her lengthy pleasure sessions had taken a toll on the old tub.  And worse; because she didn’t have the time to rejuvenate, she quickly became bitchy and irritable.  Her boyfriend was eventually able to put the clues together and he called a repairman.  When he arrived, he was stunned at how banged up (no pun intended) the tub was.  He asked if she had been swimming laps in it and gave her a small lecture on what you “should and shouldn’t do in a Jacuzzi tub.” But masturbation wasn’t on his list. So after he left, she lit some candles and got back in the swing of things.
Another one of my favorite stories comes from a friend who is very open about her sexuality.  After an extremely stressful work week, this friend decided to relieve her stress with an hour-long deep tissue massage.  She scheduled an appointment with one of her favorite massage parlors in the city and went in on a Saturday afternoon.  It could have been the smell of the oils, or the river sounds coming from the CD player… but she suddenly felt very turned on.  She began to fantasize about laying on a warm beach while getting a sexy massage from a hot Brazilian model - although she was actually in a cramped, musty massage room and her rubdown was coming from a tiny Asian Woman.  Never the less, after the massage she asked if she could sit in peace for 15 minutes to finish her “meditation”.  The Masseuse agreed and left.  As soon as the door shut my friend started to pleasure her pussy.  She hated being on a time limit, but figured 15 minutes would suffice because she had been turned on for almost an hour before that.  So, from her peaceful and serene massage suddenly came a frantic masturbation session.  She had never been so focused on pleasuring herself. And just as she was about to finish, the masseuse walked in. Her eyes widened but her hand continued moving vigorously under the covers. Trying to save herself from the inevitable embarrassment, she blurted out a lie, claiming to be having an allergic reaction to the oil that was rubbed on her earlier.  And with that, she threw on her clothes, (minus bra and undies for times sake) and got the hell out of there.  She hasn't gone back since and had to find a new favorite massage parlor. 
These stories make you realize that female masturbation isn't easy. It involves tools and moods being set. It's an art form and each of us have our very own style. Some may enjoy the delicate massaging jets of a jacuzzi while others prefer a dildo on a washing machine. Either way, women know the best ways to get themselves off - unlike a lot of men who prefer having women get them off. If my friend were a guy, he probably would have asked the masseuse for a happy ending.  But like most women, she preferred (to attempt) to give herself one.
And for some Tales of Male Masturbation, click here!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Laptops May Overheat Sperm



Attention Computer Geeks: A new study by the international journal Fertility and Sterility reveals that the heat radiating from laptops can effect male fertility. The research study (conducted by Stony Brook University in New York,) found some astonishing information. Apparently when your laptop is on for a prolonged period of time, it begins to overheat. And if its on your lap (as many lap-tops are) than so do your genitals!  After only an hour, 29 subjects with laptops on their knees raised the tempeture in their testicles more that 4 degrees!  Previous research shows that warming the scrotum more than 1.8 degrees can effect sperm count.

So next time you guys place that heated computer on your lap, remember that as good as it may feel, it's also slow-cooking your meat and potatoes - and effecting your sperm count as a result.  Nerds, techies and computer eficinatos - take extra special caution! Your sperm could be at risk! And God knows, we need your DNA to bring more brainy people into this world.  So please, for the love of this nations future, keep the laptops off your laps.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Roof Sex

My three favorite things in this world- Sex, Film and Vintage Furniture.  Enjoy!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Make Love Not Porn


For years I’ve encouraged discussions on pornography and its mark on our culture. And while I believe porn has an important place in our society, I also worry that it’s not in the right place. Or rather, we (the viewers) don’t know its rightful place.
I am a firm believer that porn is partially responsible for this current “over-sexualized and over-stimulated” reality TV generation we’re living in – And not necessarily MTV or rap videos (which are usually blamed).  Now before everyone starts accusing me of being a porn-hating witch, allow me to confess that actually I watch porn regularly. In no way am I trying to say that porn is bad and needs to be banned or regulated. But as a 25 year old, when I watch porn I can distinguish what is fantasy and what isn’t. For example, when a woman wants nothing more than to be deep throated, I am intelligent and experienced enough to realize that this is one particular fetish. Now take that same visual reference and apply it to an 11-year-old boy or girl (the average age of a child when they see porn for the first time.) Besides living in an overly stimulated generation, we are also the first generation to have complete access to the Internet – and 37% of the Internet today is porn. So it should be no surprise that kids have access to this stuff. Do they think that’s what sex is supposed to be like? And will they grow up thinking that sex should be that way? It is certainly an interesting question.
I have recently come across a woman who has not only brought attention to this topic, but is also starting a movement to try and change it. Her name is Cindy Gallop - a smut-mouthed entrepreneur in her 50’s.  She talks freely about how she enjoys dating younger men (in their 20’s) but is sick of them cumming on her face. Yes, you heard correctly, cumming on her face.  She attributes this fairly new male behavior to modern day hardcore pornography. Her point is that these lads were brought up on seeing men cum on women’s faces - and women loving it. So it’s only natural that they practice it in their own bedrooms. Well she’s tired and won’t take it anymore.
Her method for this change is to talk more with kids about real sex and sexuality. Weather we like it or not, most kids learn basic sexuality in middle school sex-ed: A place where diagrams looking nothing like the actual parts of the body and strange words like “Vaginal Opening” are used. While I commend our school systems for even teaching sex education, I still think it’s not enough. Parents have to let go of the taboo of feeling uncomfortable about talking to their kids about sex. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen… REAL SEX. Better for them to learn it from their parents (or a responsible adult) rather than a porn director.  I leave you with a clip of Cindy Gallop talking about her website and movement "Make Love Not Porn".

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Discreet Sex Toys

In honor of National Sex Toy Day (November 4th) I wanted to post some of my favorite "discreet" sex toys. One thing that sometimes discourages women from buying vibrators is figuring out a place to hide them.  Well, worry no more! These vibrators are so discreet, you could leave them in plain sight and no one would ever second guess them to be pleasure devices.  


Keep it in your purse, then tell your co-workers you need to go "reapply" your lipstick after a heated meeting.


Who would second guess this cute purple ducky sitting on your bathtub? And even if your kids get a hold of it and accidentally turn it on, you can tell them its a ducky that swims!


The best part about this one: its actually a fully functional pen. Just don't accidentally turn it on while writing. I'm sure it doesn't work too well that way.




This toy is awesome because it uses the music from your ipod and vibrates to the beat of any song.  Start out slow by listening to a soft love song... maybe something by Richard Marx. Then heat things up with some German techno!


At first glance, this may appear to be a strawberry... but its actually a bath sponge... that is actually a vibrator! Woah... A sex toy disguised as house hold object, disguised as something else. Its like the movie Inception!


If I saw this fall out of a women's purse, my first assumption would definitely not be vibrator. I would probably think she were a Pokemon Trainer...



All of these innovative and discreet toys are linked below if you wish to purchase one in honor of National Sex Toy Day.  Most of these toy's come from one of my favorite Sex Toy sites Eden's Fantasys




Wednesday, November 3, 2010

A Look Back at Being a Gay Teen


I can’t be silent on all of the gay bullying that has gone on lately.  Last month, three teenagers committed suicide because they were bullied for their sexuality.  The Boston Globe had a great article a few weeks back about a handful of well-known Bostonians who grew up gay.  The consensus was the same all around: no one in high school made it out unscratched. 

High School is an awkward time for everyone.  Add homosexuality to the mix and it gets even more difficult.   It takes a lot of courage to be you.  I think it’s a shame whenever someone has to hide who they are – especially considering that who you are is a natural human trait and completely out of your control.  With that in mind, I wanted to use this week’s hump day to have three of my friends give some testimonials and tell their stories about growing up gay. 

I spent my middle school and early high school years being teased and bullied for being different. The amount of taunting made me incredible shy, quiet and lonely.  I finally realized I didn't care what the people around me thought and decided I was going to be who I was, no matter what people said and came out when I was 16 - a sophomore in high school.  Some of the people I thought were my friends clearly had a problem with it and pulled away.  At the same time I made new friends who respected my honesty and strength.  I was the first person to be gay and out in my small town high school and seemed to get targeted less once I was open.  Slowly, over time, my homosexuality became a non-issue and I found an inner strength in myself that I never had before and continue to have today.  By the time I had graduated high school, a few more people had come out, and last I heard there were many out and proud students at my high school.

-James Garcia, Louisville CO, Graduate Student at UColorado English Lit

I never wanted to be different, but coming out and realizing that you're different (especially in high school) is really hard.  I always wanted a family with a white picket fence and a dog and I thought because I was gay, I would never have the chance to have (that) family.

I eventually told all of my friends about my girlfriend and to my surprise, no one cared.  Sure, it was a little awkward but they didn't treat me any different. (But) I still wanted to be "normal." After I broke up with my first girlfriend, I swore off girls and started seeing guys again, but something was different.  It didn't make sense.

Fortunately, coming out to my family was like telling them I had a boyfriend for the first time; no one batted an eye, no one cared, and I wasn't treated any differently. I remember the night I told my mom. She could tell something was up and she finally made me tell her… Only I didn't tell her that I was gay, I told her I was bi… ya know, just in case in ever met the "guy of my dreams." Anyways, I was practically in tears because I didn't want to be different, and my mom was laughing. She said that she thought I was going to tell her that I was on drugs or something horrible.

That spring season, softball started and someone (not a girlfriend) came into my life that, to this day, still means a lot to me. It is because of her I was able to say out loud that I was gay. I saw how happy she was with her girlfriend (of over ten years) and how they didn't seem to care about what other people thought. Throughout the years she has shown me how normal life can be once you come to terms with the way you are.  

I know (stories like mine) are probably far and few between because there are so many ignorant people in the world. I was very lucky with the people I was surrounded by. I am not saying my life experience is 100% perfect - there is one person in this world I will never tell - but of the people who do know, I couldn't have asked for anything else.

-Courtney Young, Danvers MA, Financial Relations Intelligence

When I was in school I did NOT want to be gay. I fought it and denied it with everything I had. The message I was getting from religion was that being gay is a choice and therefore against god; gays are going to hell...the bible is being used to spread and justify homophobia. What was the government telling me with Don't Ask, Don't Tell? Gay marriage bans? Gay adoption bans? And people using their first amendment right to speak hate and spread even more homophobia? And my peers? Calling a teen boy gay or a fag was the ultimate insult whether it was true or not and the cool kids were certainly not the openly gay ones. I've been obsessed with movies my entire life and couldn't even find solace there. Growing up, I can't remember one positive gay influence I ever saw in a movie or on TV. Everything I saw and every message I heard about being gay made it seem so negative, so uncool, so difficult, so unappealing. There was also a lack of openly gay people in the world I lived in. I thought I was completely alone. Everyone I knew liked someone of the opposite sex. Why was I so different? We all grow up with insecurities and finding yourself when you're young is always a struggle, but imagine feeling like the only person in the world going through this. The only person in the world with these feelings. Feelings that from a very young age you've been told are wrong. Feelings you can't get rid of, no matter how hard you try. This is why coming out is so important. The gay community has to be more visible. I hear people denying their homophobia and saying, "I don't hate gay people...BUT..." And following that with something along the lines of "gays are too in my face about it." The hypocrisy in that statement is undeniable. It only makes me want to be more in your face! Then maybe you'll get used to it. This isn't a gay agenda; it's an agenda for respect, acceptance and equality.

It wasn't until I got to college and met people just like me that I was able to truly accept myself and be comfortable in my skin. I had to create a new idea of what was "normal" and escape from the unfair, unrealistic and antiquated version of "normal" that society has tried so hard to force on us our entire lives.

I may not have been made fun of for being gay or contemplated suicide but I WAS bullied into hating myself for who I was by the world I lived in. My heart breaks to hear about LBGT youth with childhoods more difficult than mine because I understand how hard it is without the added pain of being bullied for it.
-Josh Alan Rogers, Los Angeles CA, Writer/Producer


I want to thank all of my friends for directly contributing this week. Writing a blog on sexuality, I feel a responsibility to talk about the good and bad. The light hearted and the heavy. While I may not have directly experienced what was written in these testimonial, I have noticed a common idea that links all three: Coming out isn't easy. It can be terrifying. But once you gain the confidence to do it, things get better. All three of these writers have made it to the other side - they have all come out and still have lots of people that care about them. I can only encourage young and/or closeted homosexuals to keep that in mind.

And for Josh's full testimonial click here.




Growing Up Gay: By Josh Alan Rogers

Growing up gay is hard enough, why are people making it so much harder? Although I can't speak for someone who was directly bullied in school for being gay (I wasn't out until college), I can speak for the kind of indirect bullying that takes place every single day that makes an already confused, insecure, and scared kid hate himself for even thinking he might be gay. This kind of bullying wasn't pushing me on the playground or calling me a faggot in the halls, but it was hurting all the same. Worst of all; it was socially accepted. There is still so much accepted homophobia ingrained in our society that most people don't even think about or notice, but trust me, gay kids do...I know I did. 

For starters, it's still accepted to use words like "That's gay" or "Faggot." This kind of language was extremely prevalent in the school I grew up in. Even last years biggest Hollywood comedy, The Hangover, (loved by gays and straights alike) included a joke where the word faggot was used in a derogatory manner (as a joke)...What if they used the word Nigger in it's place? That would be, and is, totally unacceptable. Why is there a difference? Did you cringe when you read the F-word the same way you did with the N word?


Gay bullying has been getting a lot of attention in the media and everyone is focused on the bullies and the schools, and of course that's extremely important, but what about whats making these bullies think it's okay to treat someone differently for being gay? Unlike gay people, bullies are not born that way...They are bred by adult bullies and indirectly (and directly) taught that gay people are less than them. If kids grow up knowing that the LGBT community are treated as second class citizens and don't have the same rights as everyone else, then of course they'll think it's okay to treat them badly, everyone else does...The kid who hears his parents saying gays shouldn't marry could very easily adopt that opinion and express it at school with abuse and violence. Kids are mean already, why give them ammo?


When I was in school I did NOT want to be gay. I fought it and denied it with everything I had. The message I was getting from religion was that being gay is a choice and therefore against god, gays are going to hell...the bible being used to spread and justify homophobia. What was the government telling me with Don't Ask, Don't Tell? Gay marriage bans? Gay adoption bans? And people using their first amendment right to speak hate and spread even more homophobia? And my peers? Calling a teen boy gay or a fag was the ultimate insult whether it was true or not and the cool kids were certainly not the openly gay ones. I've been obsessed with movies my entire life and couldn't even find solace there. Growing up I can't remember one positive gay influence I ever saw in a movie or on TV. Everything I saw and every message I heard about being gay made it seem so negative, so uncool, so difficult, so unappealing. There was also a lack of openly gay people in the world I lived. I thought I was completely alone. Everyone I knew liked someone of the opposite sex. Why was I so different? We all grow up with insecurities and finding yourself when you're young is always a struggle, but imagine feeling like the only person in the world going through this. The only person in the world with these feelings. Feelings that from a very young age you've been told are wrong. Feelings you can't get rid of, no matter how hard you try. This is why coming out is so important. The gay community has to be more visible. I hear all the time people denying their homophobia and saying "I don't hate gay people...BUT..." And following that with something along the lines of "gays are too in my face about it." The hypocrisy in that statement is undeniable. It only makes me want to be more in your face! Then maybe you'll get used to it. This isn't a gay agenda, it's an agenda for respect, acceptance and equality. 

If a young LGBT kid thinks his parents won't accept him for being gay, even if it's true, the only person with a chance to change their minds is someone they already love.  People are afraid of what they don't know or understand. 


Before I met my boyfriend's religious parents he was terrified they wouldn't accept me. They had never voiced a positive opinion towards his sexuality and didn't want to hear about it. But when they met me and saw that their son was happy in a committed, loving relationship no different from his older brother and his wife, their attitudes and feelings changed. We can change people's minds, I've seen it happen. Kids should be taught about LGBT issues in school from a young age. Then maybe they'll grow up less confused and less afraid of it.

It wasn't until I got to college and met people just like me that I was able to truly accept myself and be comfortable in my skin. I had to create a new idea of what was "normal" and escape from the unfair, unrealistic and antiquated version of "normal" that society has tried so hard to force on us our entire lives. 


I may have not been made fun of for being gay or contemplated suicide but I WAS bullied into hating myself for who I was by the world I lived in. My heart breaks to hear about LBGT youth with childhoods more difficult than mine because I understand how hard it is without the added pain of being bullied for it. 


It's time for everyone to start taking some responsibility. These kids are victims of bullying but most of all, victims of intolerance and ignorance in a world that still does not accept them for who they are. If they already feel this way, how do you think someone at school calling them a faggot will make them feel on top of that? 


All of our actions and messages are heard loud and clear by the LGBT youth. Now is the time we start listening to them. Before it's too late....


-Joshua Alan Rogers, Los Angeles CA, Writer/Producer