Gabrielle d'Estrees, 1594

Thursday, October 14, 2010

My Childhood: Skankified for Halloween

I've been browsing the Internet for some Halloween costume inspiration. But this year I'm especially distracted by some of the sexy costumes. It seems every year more and more of my childhood memories are becoming sluttified.  Here are some I recently found:

Little Orphan Annie
I could make a Daddy Warbucks joke... but that's too easy.  The funny thing is this costume is pretty proportionally accurate to the original. The difference was that Anne was eight and her legs were much shorter.  

Mr. Potato Head
Guys: If you happen to run into a woman wearing this on Halloween, please do me a favor and ask if you can store some of your parts in her back compartment.  

Cookie Monster
There is nothing sexy about cookie monster. And if he where a human, he wouldn't look anything like this. He'd probably be a sloppy fat guy.

Candy Land
First of all Candy Land is a game, not a person.  Therefore it shouldn't be a costume.  But what better way to relive my favorite childhood board game than seeing it scantily spread on a drunken 20-something year old. I don't think Grandma Nutt would approve.  

Personally, I think she'd be a great addition to the team. I just wish they would re-name this costume the "who you gonna call-girl"

Pac Man
I think this costume speaks for itself. The hidden ghost is a nice touch down there...but it should have been Pinky.

Mary Poppins
While I don't think a family would hire a nanny dressed like this, I know some single fathers that might. The red stripper heels really set a great example for the kids.

This one actually isn't much of a stretch. Smurfette was always a slut because she was the only female Smurf, which basically meant that she slept with everyone. How else did they populate their village?


  1. little orphan trannie!! also...this is awesome.

  2. Seems like your feelings, or your blogs, or both are pretty contradicting. Two posts ago you said.. "Last week, Katy Perry got a lot of crap for singing on Sesame Street with her cleavage hanging out. I can't help but feel like people today are overly sensitive." ... Now it seems like you are the "overly sensitive" one because your childhood memories are being "sluttified"!

  3. Oh come on it's a joke. Trust me, I'm not bothered by these costumes, my childhood mind is far too tainted to care. I'm just pointing out how many of these slutty costumes are themed around children's nostalgia. It's kinda weird. Don't you think?

  4. @ Chris: Its pretty obvious that she's not seriously offended by these costumes. Half of this entry actually embraces their trashiness and even offers ways to make them even more "sluttfied." Putting Pinky in the Vag of the pac man costume... lol!

  5. @Robert B... I don't like your attitude, and you stink of sarcasm!